Friendly Match vs Ashtead CC, 11th May 2008, Ashtead

"Is this Khwa-tay-loo?"
by Doug Precey

"Is this Khwa-tay-loo?" LFCC's Mexican new best friend kept asking (more from him later). Sadly not. There were to be no Wellingtonian heroics on the fields of Ashtead. But, played in glorious sunshine against the back-drop of the Premiership finale, a good time was most certainly had by all as London Fields took on Steve Donelan's 'other team', Ashtead CC, for the first time.

Will called the toss correctly (a very important moment it would transpire) and, unsurprisingly given the hot sun, Fields chose to make first use of what looked to be a flat batting track.

The early insider information from Steve was that this was a strong Ashtead XI, which included their overseas player. And so it proved to be as, restricted by some tight opening bowling, Fields made slow but steady progress. Just as openers Andy and Doug looked to try to up the scoring rate before the first drinks break, Doug holed out to mid-on off the 13-year-old leg spinner. The same combination of bowler, shot and fielder (who it turned out was the young bowler’s father) also accounted for Andy not long afterwards, again just as Fields had started to look to push on.

That would be the pattern of LFCC’s innings, with wickets falling at regular intervals and putting paid to hopes of building a substantial total. Frustratingly, most of Fields' batsmen played themselves in but failed to make sizeable scores on what was a good pitch – Jason's knock of 40 was the highlight as LFCC ended on 157 for 8 from their 40 overs. 150 had itself looked unlikely until some late lusty blows from the tail and Shannon in particular, who finished 18 not out. Fixture organiser Steve enjoyed the noteworthy distinction of being bowled by his younger brother.

Having tucked into a delicious and very welcome tea and caught up on the news of Man Utd, Chelsea, Fulham et al., LFCC set about the task of trying to defend what was a well-below-par total. However, even Will's positively Churchillian rallying call left Fields unable to restrain Ashtead's opening batsmen from scoring seemingly at will. It soon became obvious from Ashtead's clean and often brutal hitting (and especially that of their Kiwi overseas player) that LFCC's afternoon would be spent engaging in a damage-limitation exercise.

In fact, despite some respectable bowling (the pick of the figures were Steve's with only 12 runs conceded from 4 overs, including Fields' only maiden) and tight fielding, LFCC managed only one breakthrough – Shannon luring the Kiwi down the pitch as (reminiscent of Freddie Flintoff/Tino Best) he tried to repeat his trick of threatening nearby windows, leaving Jason to accept a smart stumping chance. Ashtead made quick work of the total, allowing both teams to retire to the clubhouse for drinks and a fish and chip supper, very kindly organised by Steve.

Which leads us back to LFCC's newest honorary member – a very drunk young Mexican making his way back on the train to 'Khwa-tay-loo' to meet four 'hot bitches' who he assured us were eagerly awaiting his return from a day spent with another lucky young lady that apparently had involved something to do with doughnuts. Andy was especially lucky to find himself at close proximity to some impressive groinal thrusting. While the club's new friend regaled us with details of his family (his uncle seemed to be mayor of Mexico City, his Dad was also a high ranking official, and his sister had played tennis with Maria Sharapova), Will took the edge off of the disappointment of a losing day leading the Fields by drinking the Mexican’s last can of Heineken.

Despite the heavy defeat, everyone had had a thoroughly enjoyable day, except perhaps four 'hot bitches[, who were left waiting at Waterloo station for a young Mexican who, for reasons known only to himself, had got off at Vauxhall.

Here's the scorecard:

London Fields Batting:

Andy	Ct.	28
Doug	Ct.	18
Jason	Bowled	40
Brock	Ct.	10
Will	Ct.	14
Dave	Bowled	7
Steve	Bowled (by his brother!)	2
Shannon	Not out	18
Ben	St.	6
Ryan	Not out	1
Travis	(did not bat)
		157 for 8 (40 overs)

Ashtead Bowling:

Bowler	O	M	R	W
S.Vickery	8	1	32	1
C.Douglas	4	1	10	0
Roughton	4	0	25	0
S.Sibley	8	1	21	3
Gilbert	8	1	33	1
P.Donelan	8	0	34	3

Ashtead Batting:

M. Sibley	Not out	60
A.Roberts	Stumped	80
C.Neil-Hall	Not out	16
		160 for 1

London Fields Bowling:

Bowler	O	M	R	W
Ryan	4	0	30	0
Travis	4	0	29	0
Ben	4	0	30	0
Steve	4	1	12	0
Will	3	0	22	0
Shannon	3	0	23	1
Brock	2	0	9	0
Dave	1	0	5	0